Why Did I Want Him To Learn To Talk?
Crusher is a recent graduate of speech therapy. He spent 15 months in speech, and last month went through a comprehensive assessment before being declared "caught up." He tested very high on the receptive language portion, and just marginally passed the section measuring his expressive language. Like any good parent, I have a good excuse for his meager showing in this category. The teacher hates him, the coach favors his own son, wait, those are my excuses for elementary school and Little League (frantically turning pages). This test was highly biased and a poor reflection of his capabilities (yep, right page). The final evaluation consisted of the speech pathologist showing him a series of pictures, then asking him questions about them.
For example, she showed him a picture of a scarf and asked him to identify it. We live in the desert, how should he know what a scarf is? It was like 152 degrees here today. Had she shown him this picture and asked him what it was, he would've said, "Home" and gotten it right.
Then she showed him a picture similar to this one and asked him to identify it.
He said, "No, Mommy driving. No, because I said so. No, be quiet and eat your French fries." The therapist said, "Good job," but I saw the minus sign she not-so-discreetly posted.
Then she showed him a picture similar to this one and asked him to identify it.
He said, "No, Mommy driving. No, because I said so. No, be quiet and eat your French fries." The therapist said, "Good job," but I saw the minus sign she not-so-discreetly posted.
Then it was onto verbs. She showed him various pictures and asked him what each picture is for. She showed him a faucet and he exclaimed, "Wash your hands!" She showed him a bed and he said, "Sleep in the bed." Then she showed him this:
He looked at her like she had three heads.
Had she shown him this,
He would've had a fighting chance.
He looked at her like she had three heads.
Had she shown him this,
He would've had a fighting chance.
Aren't some of those tests just stupid? I would not know what to call that abstract one either. And I used to read the dictionary for fun, yeah, yeah, I'm a geek.
Too funny on the microwave!
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In my case, had she shown them either the golden arches or a happy meal box, they would have been right on!
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Love the comments about driving...I'm LMAO!!! Did he also throw in, "No, because this is diet chocolate (ice cream, whatever...) and Mommy says you won't like it?"
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Hahahaha! Too cute! And congrats to Crusher for "graduating".
I hear you on the heat. I'm a desert dweller too.
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Nothing remotely witty to add except to say that I've been reading your blog for a couple months now and wake up each morning and am only able to crawl out of bed and feed a bunch of whining kids because of the HOPE that you have posted something new. Is it stalkish to say: I LOVE YOU!?
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LOL. Crusher sounds like a perfectly normal child! Little Guy would have answered the questions the exact same way.
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Hiya hun. Congratulations to the wee one for graduating speech therapy.....but perhaps the therapist needs to widen her thinking just the teeniest bit before she passes her anal personality onto someone's child???!!!!
Lmao at the picture of the microwave.......wish we had one, but we spent a year and a half cooking off a crappy hot plate when we first moved here and I demanded we get an oven for making oven chips......I was having withdrawals!!!
ps as I'm from Scotland, the mere mention of the word 'Desert' makes my skin glow a luminous pink shade...I'm of the breed that was built for winters....a woolly mammoth if you like, so you have my sympathy with the heat issues.
xx
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So funny! I can relate. Ask Thalia to show you 'mommy cooking' and she'll point to a bowl of cereal.
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And this is why I agreed to let Mr. Hot retire 11 years ago. We would have either lived off of McDonalds and Taco Bell or had spaghetti every day.
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Wait. So she showed a scarf to a kid in Arizona? That's like showing a picture of a bikini to an Eskimo.
I mean seriously.
Little Man wouldn't know what a broom is. Or a vaccuum. I guess he'd fail speech therapy too if those pics were shown to him.
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LOL - found you site via Life is Just So Daily.
This post was hilarious!
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You are too funny! I am actually thinking of knocking down the wall in our kitchen where the stove is located. My husband said, "So where will we put the stove if we knock the wall down?" I was honestly contemplating just not putting another one in! It's just a decoration in our house anyway!
Jane, P&B Girls
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I laugh because I'm a speech therapist!
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Hi, I got here via Stef's Baby on Bored or maybe Laney-Painey. You are really very funny. Thanks for the laughs. I thought my son T who is 4 had a speech problem but the experts told me he was normal for his age. Probably because at home his sister,8 is always saying "shut up T!" in the middle of his sentences so he has trouble getting his words out. And I am always telling him, just a minute sweetie, mama is doing her work on the computer.
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OK... you have officially gotten me spitting out my iced coffee all over my keyboard! And I have brought my husband over to read this post! Hilarious. You always have me laughing... thank you!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls
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You are the Goddess of Funny Blogdom!
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You know what I love best about your posts? There's always that moment when "the penny drops." The oven/microwave thing literally made me choke! When that did that test for my son they showed him an airplaine that was missing one of the wheels and said, "what's missing in this picture." He said, "passengers."
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OMG! I'm laughing so hard!
That's soooooo funny.
"...now eat your french fries...because i said so!"
Love it!
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Oh I'm so with you on this one!!!
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We had similar issues when my 2 year old was given an eye test (before he learned his letters) with pictures that were unfamiliar like an old fashioned phone and a T.V. with antennae.
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