I Am Not The Boss Of Me

Posted by Sheri at 6/17/2007 9:03 PM
Categories: uncategorized

I was thinking about how crucial consistency is when raising well-adjusted kids.  You know, "routine is king" blah, blah, blah.  Because I'm obviously so well-versed on this topic, not to mention eloquent, I think it's only fair for me to share my wisdom with the unfortunate common folk who are ill-equipped to rear their own children without my intervention.  Therefore, I will be offering parenting classes for a small fee.  Fortunately, I wrote the content of this course before I had children.  Nobody could manage unborn children like I could.

The name of the course is "Mommy in Charge: Your Job to Make the Rules, Your Kid's Job to Follow Them."  

You can all thank my recent jaunt to the Chick-fil-A drive-thru for my inspiration for this treasure I am about to bestow upon you (Not to mention 25% off the registration fee and a complimentary gift if you act now!).  This all came to me just a little while ago when Crusher and Bam Bam were getting restless so I...

    • Loaded them up in the minivan I swore I'd never drive.
    • Because they told me to even though I wasn't in the mood to go.
    • Took them to a fast food restaurant they weren't going to be allowed to eat at.
    • Fed them french fries that were going to be strictly forbidden.
    • Let them munch on them in my car I planned to disallow food in.
    • Because I gave in when they whined incessantly. 
    • All while watching the DVD player in my car that was only going to be used for long trips.
    • Redefined "long" to include any trip with a passenger too short to ride Space Mountain and too young to apply for an AARP card.

Please be sure to apply for early registration, because the aforementioned complimentary gift will be a gargantuan-sized explosive with properties akin to that of a nuclear warhead that I've invented to disarm the godforsaken twist ties in the packaging of kids' toys!!!!
                                                               
   

Look forward to seeing you all there.

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
Trackback specific URL for this post
  • No trackbacks exist for this post.
Comments
Display comments as (Linear | Threaded)

Leave a comment

 Enter the above security code (required)

 Name

 Email (will not be published)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.